12/12-13

Well it's 12:15 on the 13 of December, but i'm going to type about the 12th. It actually wasn't that bad. I went to school which i hate for the most part, but it was rather easy. The only class that wasn't so good was my English class, but i'm not going to get into that. I rather be happy and what not. Oh and after school I got to hang out with my boyfriend. Yes, for those who didn't know I did get a boyfriend and I love him very much. He is so sweet to me, I just wish I could do more for him. Well after I hung out with him, I come to my "home" and it's not so pleasant. Like nothing extreme happened today, you can just get the aura of loneliness, death, depression and a lot more. But yeah, I suck it up and deal with it. But my day was pretty good, and OH! I forgot, i'm not talking to my "friend" because she is a bitch and I'm tired of her shit. It's rather ridiculous[spelling?] the stuff she does. But yeah, I have completely ignored her, and she deserves it. And that's intense coming from me who doesn't really want bad things and what not to happen to others. But yeah, and i hope that today the 13th goes well. Write more later. peace.

Watching my heart break piece by piece,

Holding back words which i shall not speak,

But when i see you just that little while,

I really can't help but have a smile,

And now I wait for that pain to take place,

Wiping the smile right off my face,

For happiness is something that does not stay,

So back to the darkness in which I lay.

7/15

Well today I was pretty pissy, because I was up late last night not feeling to well. And then people next door getting a pool and then my friend texting me. I wanted to sleep but again noooo. But yeah once up, I went and hung out with 2 of my friends. We just chilled around and I got a charger for my camera battery! So now my baby [the camera] works now! :] But yeah and then we drove and picked up 2 more people. I went and saw my grandma today and I made her day since I came over. But yeah, then we went back to my friends house and watched Run Fatboy Run, or whatever it was called. Then we started playing pool. It was a lot of fun. Then we had pizza and stuff. Then I just got home not to long ago. I'm uploading a lot of pictures haha. But yeah for the most part my day was ok.

You say you want to leave,
Your daughter right infront of you,
She see's you giving up,
She cries for you to try,
But you say you're done,
You want it to be over,
But she wants you to fight,
You say you're tired of fighting,
She falls to her knees and begs,
But you say you can't and you're sorry,
She then begins to wonder what she did,
She wants to know why you are done,
She wants to know why she was dealt this hand,
She wants to know how to play it,
She wants her daddy,
But he no longer wants her.

7/11

Today I didn't really do much. I went to Barnes and Noble with my friend. I got the new Fruits Basket manga! I got so excited! Yeah then I got the 2nd and 3rd book to the Vampire Kisses series. I also got a book I have to read for school. But I have been basically babysitting my father all day. I actually got to take a nap and I was soooo happy. I have been sooo freaking tired. Yeah, I guess that's pretty much it. I took a shower. And washed my hair. haha yeah nothing really. But I think the best part of the day was my nap. It made me happy, yeah me happy. weird. haha But yeah, that is pretty much it.

There is a little girl,
She is always smiling,
She is always laughing,
But look into her eyes and you shall see,
Things aren't always as they seem,
That little girl is lonely,
Her heart aches from the darkness,
The darkness that has taken over her body,
She craves for that one hug,
That hug of caring,
But all she gets is a push away,
She reaches her hand out,
She tries to grab another hand,
The other hand that is nonexistent,
She has now fallen into the dark,
But she keeps the smile up,
She goes on laughing,
But only because she knows her end is near.

07/09

Well, so far it's only the morning and no one will let me sleep. I keep getting woken up, but what can you expect. I'm currently listening to music, and being bored. I want to meet some new friends that I can talk to on here. But at the same time I am trying to do this thing for someone. But for the most part I am bored. I'm also trying to keep calm because if I don't, let's just say bad things will happen. I just want to sleep, but I have to get up in two hours and if I go to sleep now, I wont wake up. Well, I just got back from the mall and I got a book. Yeah weird I only get a book from a whole mall! But I got the first book of Vampire Kisses. I heard it was really good, so I decided to get it! We just got back from China Town, which was NOTHING! But yeah we then went to this three story mall, like normal and I ate these bread stick things. Yeah I don't buy much from places. I went to my friends hockey game, then we ate pizza. We also went to Party City to goof off. But yeah then we just chilled and that is pretty much it. :]

Why do you insist on hurting me,
How can you say such things,
You loved me but did you really,
You say you still care but do you,
You watch me suffer in pain,
But you just kick me while i'm down,
I have no place in your heart,
I have no place in this world,
If I was to die would you care,
If I was to leave I bet you would smile,
My tears mean nothing,
My pain means nothing,
My life means nothing to you.